I am a smart and sensitive man, but I am unfortunately limited intellectually, emotionally and spiritually because A) my peace of mind is generally dependent upon the everyday successfulness of Boston sports teams, B) my interpretation of life events is often dependent upon what minimally relevant movie I can reference and C) my self-worth is almost entirely dependent upon your opinion of me. As you can see, I have dependency issues.
Ah, Spring Break in the Redneck Riviera! That's Panama City Beach, in case you were wondering. I thought I'd class it up with some acts of great maturity.